Who will you be?

Yesterday, January 12th, I was asked to go to XLT. XLT is a night where a bunch of Catholic teens go and have some worship time, someone comes from a different state and gives a talk, and then we have adoration. I got asked to go and I was unsure. I really haven’t had time to do anything because I work 4 days out of the week and on the days I don’t work I volunteer at my church. So it was good to hang out with some friends and to get away. To worship and relax. I decided to go and I wasn’t too sure if I was excited or not. It seems like every time I’m not excited to do something faith related, I end up and need to go. LOL

So I go and i was unsure. I got there and was already having a somewhat good time. We were there early ( which is a first LOL ) and so we got to go in the front. Like we were touching the stage close. We saw some people we knew and we kinda just hung out before the concert started. Ike Ndolo was the musician. I’ve seen him literally like 40,000 times ( obviously it hasn’t been that many times but I have seen him a lot ) and he is always just as amazing. And yet he still surprises me with how talented he is not just by singing and playing instruments, but how well he helps me enter into prayer and having that deep conversation with The Lord. After a few songs, the lead person who puts on these XLT’s, came up and introduced someone who is such an inspiration.

“Please give it up for Sister Miriam!” and the crowd cheered. The nun came up and said we could sit down. Everyone sat and she began her talk. Now to begin with, I love nuns but as of right now I am not open to be a nun. Yes, everyone ( including youth ministers ) to be open to it cause it could be what God is calling you to be. But as of today, January 13, 2016, I am not open to it. So I thought this was gonna be another talk a nun gave telling girls to be open to the idea of being a nun and such and I was already over her talk before she began it. As she began her talk she became very open. Telling a little about her past and what her childhood was like. If none of you follow her on twitter you should ( @onegroovynun ). You should definitely connect with her.

She talked about how she was a very good volleyball player in high school and college. During one of her drills at practice one day in college, she thought of the question “Who will I be?” She said that “you are what you repeat”. Which was a big wake up call for me. I have repeat a lot of my non-holy actions and I can tell you right now I do not want to be any of what I repeat. Then she showed a video from the Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial ( the link will be right here —-> Who will you be? ) She said to not really pay attention to the video, but to the narrator. So I didn’t really watch the video till I watched it a second time when I got home, I looked at the floor and just listened. “Who will you be?” was the very first words of the video. And that stuck in my heart for the rest of the night. Who will I, Hayley, be? Will I be a painter, a writer, a teacher, a mother, etc? But more importantly, will I be the things I repeat? Will I be my sins?

She went on telling some of her story, how she never and still doesn’t know her birth parents, somethings happened to her as a child, and she became an alcoholic by the age of 21. And though she and the rest of us have done some pretty lousy things in our life, God still loves us. He loves to gaze at us in delight that He made us. That He made nothing in the world like you. You are the only one who can be you! I wrote a blog about how i loved imagining God looking at us like we won a big award, called How does God look at YOU? ( if you click on the title it’ll take you to that blog. )

But I connected with her. Like more than I thought. Before the end of her talk, she said that we are about to have adoration and that she wanted us to let God gaze at us. And that she didn’t want us to think that He was just staring but gazing. You stare at a car wreck, God gazes at you!! So adoration comes and all the hurt and trials and struggles I had been dealing with for a couple months, I let Him just take it. I think it was the first time I had ever really let go. I had never fully let go of any of my hurts or struggles or anything. I just gave God wanted I wanted and kept what I wanted to myself. Which isn’t the way to go. If you are gonna tell God something you might as well tell Him everything! It’s kinda like going to a therapist, if you don’t tell the therapist everything, they can’t help you. Sorta the same thing with The Lord, God wants to know everything. He is so interested in everything that happens with you and to you that He longs for you to tell Him everything.

There’s really no point to this blog, I just needed to say how great it was last night to hear what this nun talked about. But I guess it did have a point. Tell God everything on your mind. Tell Him about how your day went, good and bad. Tell Him about your struggles, your hurts, your desires, your passions, tell Him everything! That’s my challenge for you, to tell Him everything! Know I am praying for everyone of you daily! You are awesome! You are doing a great job! You are loved and cared for! God Bless.12485951_1244058062288059_5235576551539858754_o2f94036d75abf5fca6b3f4c9a5081ddfyou-not-alone

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