Have you ever had those times in your life, when life seems like it’s crumpling down on you all at once and you just say “Where are you God?” Like you are just going through a lot of struggles and it feels like there’s no way out. You’ve been taught all your life ( or you’ve heard most of your life ) that Jesus will help you through the tough times if you ask. You’ve asked and asked and it seems like Jesus just doesn’t pull through? Sometimes you just wanna give up on your faith because there seems like theres no point.
I understand. For a while now I’ve been sort of feeling like that. Like not doubting that God is there, but doubting His abilities I guess. So this past Wednesday at Middle School Youth Group, we had adoration for the first time in like 2 months. It was awesome and I was so excited. I was also so excited because that night for dinner, the ladies in the kitchen who make dinner for the nights were making breakfast for dinner. It was a total hit!!
Like I said I was super excited about the night. For the past 2 weeks I had been going to daily mass everyday and I could already feel something different within me. I could feel that I was more peaceful and I could give better advice about anything. I was praying better and more often than I was. It was wonderful. Monday night I went to mass and Molly and I sat together. She was journaling and I used to journal a lot. I stopped for who knows what reason. But as I heard her pen on paper and her hand sliding across the page, I began to miss it a lot!!
So Wednesday I wasn’t working so I decided to go sit in the churches 24/7 adoration chapel before going to get Thomas from school. I picked up my journal and pen and I just started writing. I wrote like 4 pages, and stayed in there for an hour when I was just going to be in there for 10 minutes. It was so great it was like the Holy Spirit just hit me like a ton of bricks.
I went and got Thomas, headed to the church to set up for Middle School Youth Group. I set up the altar, got the candles and Monstrance. I was pumped. We had dinner, played some games and we got the kids in front of the altar. We had a testimony from a teen helper, Sara. I went and lit the candles and it was go time.
Father Jack and the altar servers came in with Jesus. Fr. Jack set Jesus down in the Monstrance and knelt before him. As songs were being played and Fr. Jack and Jake were talking in between songs, I wrote a lot of things down that kinda pulled at my heart strings. Things that got me thinking. “Jesus is a friend, your best friend.”, “He is the light that will take the darkness away.”, “He’s waiting for me to run into His arms.” And that was the first time I had really believed in those phrase. That He will break away the darkness. That He will love you and be a friend.
It was a great witness seeing Fr. Jack kneeling before our Lord. When he started talking and explaining how to open yourself up to the Lord. He told us that we should pray for those who don’t know Jesus, who don’t know how to pray. He even got emotional and choked up. He got emotional talking about how when people don’t know Jesus, Jesus is present with them, they just don’t know it. That the Living Christ is in the Eucharist, as 100% human and 100% Divine.
So in these past couple weeks, what I’m starting to grasp, is that Jesus is with you. Jesus is suffering with you. Jesus is the friend that you have when all your friends have left you. Jesus is the Father that you may not have. Jesus is the brother who is ready to listen to you. Jesus is the friend who is ready to embrace you when need a hug. Jesus is there and He loves and cares for you. He knows you like no other person, He knows you better than you know yourself. As Jake said in between songs “Jump into the game [ life ], you get more out of life when you participate.”
My prayer and hope for you this week is that you are able to fully open your heart up to the Lord. To allow Him to love you. To allow Him to be your Friend, Father, Brother, or whatever you need Him to be. I pray that you pray more to Him because that is the best and only way to form a fabulous relationship with Him. You are doing a great job! You are loved! You are cared for! You are good enough! You are the best you, you can be!! God Bless!!