To the one who chose me

This was going to be a Father’s Day blog, but with the events that have happened in the past couple days, I feel it’s best to put a smile on your face now. Our world is filled with hurting children who have faced the disappointment of their parents being divorced. Luckily, I wasn’t one of them. Before I go on let me give everyone who doesn’t know OUR story, a glimpse into our life.

My mother was previously married but divorced before I was born. It was just her and I ( and her side of the family ) until I was 3. When I was 9 months old, my mom put me into a home daycare, run by my ( now ) cousin Debbie. One night, Debbie had invited my mom to a night out with Steve ( my dad ). She battled with the decision for a while but said yes. That was the night they both hit it off and he never left our house until it was bed time. Before marrying my mom, I vividly remember something that gets told and retold every time there is a family gathering. My mom went off to do something, you were babysitting me. I was an avid Barney lover, you were an avid golf watcher. You were watching golf and I being the only child, moaned and whined for us to watch Barney. You said no because you were watching golf. I, being the little 4 year old I was, got mad and threw the Barney tape in the trash, you picked me up by my feet and made me get the tape head first. When I got the tape, I quickly ran into the bathroom and locked the door saying I wasn’t coming out until mommy got home. You quickly got the baby gate and put it in the door of the bathroom so when I was done with my tantrum I opened the door and I literally couldn’t get out till mom got home. She came home and they both laughed and finally let me out.

Finally 18 days before I turned 5, the day came where my mom and i got to wear beautiful white dresses and walk down the isle. I always say you didn’t just marry my mom, you also married me. I watch the wedding videos and I see the pure joy the 3 of us had. But I see something special between you and I. You had a wife now, but you also had a little partner in crime, you gained a friend, you gained a buddy that’ll be the one to go to the store with you at 8:30-9pm at night. I don’t remember how old I was or how long after the wedding it was, but after the wedding you took the bold and courageous step in fatherhood and went to the courthouse and officially made me your daughter. I remember just a few months ago, I found the adoption papers that I had never seen before. I remember seeing statements that I had never heard you say but they meant the world to me. “I have the said child’s best interest at heart” I always knew that you did/do but seeing it on the adoption papers made it so much real.

We have had our bad times don’t get me wrong. We have had our fights and silent treatments, and God knows what else. But we always come back like nothing ever happened. We come and we hug and we sit and watch the Hunger Games series. We go out at random times of the night to get food and household items. I’m always the one to go to Walmart with you when no one else will. It may not be the Father/Daughter bond that most people have, but it’s a damn good one! People always say “You look just like your dad” and though that can’t ever be biologically possible, we both have fun laughing at the fact that people think we look alike and we sure as hell know that we act like each other. We have people who think we look alike and then we have the people who just downright don’t believe that we aren’t biologically related to us. Even your mom says ( in a funny way ) “Are you sure Renee and you didn’t have a fling 9 months before I was born?”

There have been many times when people are like “Do you like your step dad?” or “Do you live with your step dad?” or even “Are your mom and your step dad still together?” and I’ll just reply “Yes I love my DAD, yes I do live with my DAD, and yes my mom and my DAD are still together.” Though you weren’t there when my mom gave birth to me, and you are biologically mine, you did something that the other one didn’t. You did something you didn’t HAVE to do. You did something so special because you WANTED to. You CHOSE me and brought me into a whole other family who loves me like I had always be there. You were the one that wanted me and I could never repay you for that. We have a bond nobody can understand and I am so thankful to God for you.

Thank you for loving me when no other father figure would. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for being a rock for my mom and I. Thank you for being funny and loving and a big teddy bear. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for making me laugh when I cry and thank you for making me cry because I laugh too hard. You da man!! “DNA doesn’t make a family, love does.”




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